Love bombing is a phenomenon that often occurs especially at the beginning of a partnership. Here, the new partner is literally showered with love, attention, small gifts and compliments. By doing so, the giver tries to gain the attention, affection and trust of the other.
Sounds too good to be true? That's it. Because the Love Bomber pursues a very specific goal. Soon, when he is safe from these other person's attentions, the partner is manipulated, controlled and exploited.
Love bombers are especially focused on people who have low self-esteem. These are particularly susceptible to compliments and the attentive kind. By their bad self-image, they represent the ideal victim.
Nevertheless, these "victims" are not inconspicuous people. On the contrary. The Love Bomber looks specifically for people with whom he can specify to the outside. Perfectly suited to this are, for example, people who have enormous professional success, who look very attractive without being aware of it or who are particularly intelligent.
How the Love Bombing goes unnoticed
If the Love Bomber has found a partner, he begins to ensnare this / this partner. He always has time for the other person. He is always there for you. He also does not shy away from talking about a common future. We are floating on cloud nine.
But suddenly, almost overnight, the Love Bomber changes his behavior. He starts to make regulations. For example, that the other should limit the contact with his friends, can not go out on the weekends, no longer pursue his hobbies. If the other refuses, he will be punished by ignoring. No loving words, no affection, no caresses.
Only when the other goes to the Love Bomber and explains that he has thought again and found that he really spend too much time with friends and thus deflects the Love Bomber comes to meet him and gives him back his love.
We are dealing with a kind of conditioning. If the partner obeys, he will be rewarded. If he does not hear, he will be punished mentally.
Behind this behavior is a control addiction. The Love Bomber wants to be able to control his partner at any time and in this way exercise power on him.
But at some point the partnership loses its appeal for the Love Bomber. This happens when the partner begins to fight back against the Love Bomber and can not be pressurized enough.
How should I behave when I am with a Love Bomber?
If we have the pink glasses on and are then entangled by the new partner at our side, we usually do not even notice, how the noose around our neck and continues to tighten.
People in love are very difficult to see through the game of the Love Bomber. Only when he has finished the relationship and they are in front of a pile of shards they are often aware of what they have months or even years with them. Now they realize what they've given up on the Love Bomber: the friends, the job, maybe even the family contact.
But we already notice during the relationship, which game is played with us, only one thing helps: Pull the rip cord and take the legs in the hand. To end the relationship with a love bomber is particularly difficult. Finally, he does not put us under permanent pressure, but alternates the phases of power with loving phases of affection statements.
But it is all the more important that we clearly understand that we are controlling ourselves and putting ourselves under pressure. Remember that the one who demands that we limit ourselves should the alarm bells ring. Although it will not be easy, only by ending the relationship can we become permanently happy. If we have already been isolated from the social environment by the Love Bomber, a separation is usually even more difficult. Then comes the fear of being completely alone and having nothing and no one left. This of course plays into the hands of the Love Bomber.
But we can only prevent mental pain if we end this unhealthy partnership.
You have been a victim of Love Bombing, but you have been strong enough to separate you? Since then you are single and you feel that you will never find another person that suits you? Then inquire for a flirt coaching for men or a flirting workshop for women. Our flirting professionals will show you how to approach the opposite sex in your everyday life. So that you too will finally be happy. We look forward to hearing from you.