I feel alone - how you change something in your situation

Every person has phases in which he feels alone

One day, depending on how we live, we may reach the point where we find ourselves feeling alone. This can, for example, be the result of a change in one's life, for example because we move away from our hometown for studying or because we leave the city after completing our studies to get our dream job.

But this can also be the moment when two good friends tell us again that they are getting married, while we are still single. Or the moment when we look at the cooked food and realize that we cooked too much for one person and that we have not left home for weeks to meet other people.

Being alone does not mean being lonely

Often people confuse being alone with loneliness. Being alone is basically a very nice, positive feeling. If we come home after a long day at work, we had to deal with bad-tempered customers all the time, listen to the boring stories of colleagues and on the way home someone finally snatched the parking space away, then we are glad at such moments, no one To meet people more and to be alone.

Being alone means having time for yourself. Being alone means dedicating oneself to things that often go down. Sport, try your favorite recipes, tidy up the apartment, go shopping.

It is different if we can not enjoy this time when we have our rest. There are many causes for this. If we have too much time alone, for example for weeks or even months, then at some point we will lack social contact with good friends. Those who can not do themselves well feel faster lonely than a person who knows how to spend an evening alone with a good book.

Now it is the same with you, that at the beginning you still enjoyed all the time that is available to you after work. But now you have reached a point where you say that you really feel alone, that is, lonely.

The feeling of loneliness can also be understood despite relationship and friends

Feeling alone does not necessarily mean that we are really alone. Maybe we know too well that we have friends and girlfriends who like to meet with us, who are always there for us, and also that we have a partner by our side who truly loves us.

But as soon as we are alone, the feeling of inner emptiness spreads back into us. It's like we miss someone or something. As if we just lack something to be happy.

This feeling of loneliness does not come from actual loneliness, but from a general inner dissatisfaction. Maybe it's the job that secretly does not satisfy us, maybe it's the lack of leisure time that makes us dissatisfied, maybe it's the fact that we're incredibly dissatisfied with our bodies so we can not accept ourselves and ourselves do not love yourself.

It is important that we keep in mind what exactly we are not satisfied with in our current situation. Lack of leisure time can be remedied by increasingly focusing on the things we really love. We could start drawing, painting, doing sports, taking pictures or reading. If, on the other hand, we are not satisfied with our job, larger steps are necessary that also demand courage and strength.

I feel alone - Am I just not adorable?

If we have been feeling alone for a long time, it can cause our self-esteem to drop. More and more frequently, we feel that something is wrong with us. We are increasingly convinced that it is up to us and our character to be alone all the time. Thoughts like the following are more and more often going through our heads:

  • There is nobody who cares about me
  • I'm boring to other people
  • On strangers I look unsympathetic
  • I'm not attractive enough to ever find a partner
  • People do not want to be friends with me

Do these thoughts seem familiar to you? Do you deal with doubts of this kind every day? Because then it is incredibly important that you make yourself aware that these doubts are completely unfounded. But as long as you hold on to this thought and you can not suppress it, you will make it extremely difficult for yourself to meet new people.

Please also free yourself from the thought that all the people you meet should like you. It is normal that we are not on the same wavelength with each person. That's perfectly fine and has nothing to do with you personally.

I feel alone - how do I get out of my negative rut?

If you feel lonely, you have to become active! Unfortunately, it's just that new friends do not suddenly stand with us in the living room. If you want more social contacts, you have to work actively at this point.

A first step for you may be to look around Facebook in the "New in ..." groups. There are a lot of people in these groups, who have just moved to your city and therefore do not know anyone there. But again, you have to be brave and come out of yourself.

If a meeting is organized, for example on a Saturday night in a bar, you have to overcome and agree first. On the day itself, of course, there is no pinch! Surely you are excited, but you do not have to be. After all, you only meet other people who are in exactly the same situation as you. Therefore, motivate yourself and go to the meeting in the evening. You'll see that it's worth it!

Also keep in mind that friendships want to be maintained. If you never let anything be heard and never answer, you will hear less and less of your friends over time. And so it is when you have been to such a meeting and you have made first contacts: exchange your numbers with the people you have understood very well with and, later on, write them to WhatsApp, so that you will be in a smaller one again Round can meet.

I feel alone - Just go away helps

Of course you want to meet new people in your current city where you live now. What helps you is that you just go on vacation alone for the weekend or for a week.

In what way are you going to make new friends with it? Anyone who overcomes and dares to travel alone, learns to get to know a whole new side of life. We are surprised by ourselves, because we are much more outgoing, just coming in contact with other people, and we feel absolutely nothing of our former shyness.

After such an experience, we come back from our journey with a whole new sense of self worth, which will help us in our new home to meet new people.

I feel alone - looking for regular activities where you get in touch with others

In addition to matching groups on Facebook, you should choose a regular activity that you can do once a week. The classic is for this example the sports club. However, it does not have to be a committed club.

Also in gyms courses are offered, which are usually always visited by the same people.

If sport is not your thing, you also have the opportunity, for example, to take a language course at the community college.

Just enter the name of your city on Google with the addition "club", and let yourself be surprised what opportunities you have.

The feeling of loneliness can also come from depression

Anyone who feels lonely and unloved for years, who has problems getting out of bed in the morning, who is unable to leave the apartment after work, who does not have the strength to do something good for himself, that may be also suffering from depression. Depression has nothing to do with just having to pull yourself together. Depression is a mental illness in which we need to see a doctor.

You feel alone because you want a partner by your side, but you just do not find a woman who shows interest in you? You do not want to be single anymore? Then ask us for a flirt coaching for men. Our flier experts will show you how to manage to talk to pretty women in your everyday life, flirt with them and even get their numbers in the end. So that you too will finally be happy. We look forward to hearing from you.

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