Writer Walter Bodhi published his book "Flirt-Wissenschaften - 150 studies on how 'man' has success with the most beautiful women" in which he deals extensively with 150 scientific studies in 2014, to the causes and reasons for the successful flirtation on the bottom to go. Walter Bodhi has been studying the behavior of the female sex since 2002. In an interview with Flirt University, Walter Bodhi reveals his secrets, which he advises every man flirting with and explains how science and love are closely linked.
Flirt University: Mr. Bodhi, love and flirting are considered by many to be something very intuitive and spontaneous. How did you come up with the idea of applying Navy Seal's military technology to men's anxiety?
Walter Bodhi: Using the Navy Seal technique as a strategy against anxiety is pretty obvious. Many men are afraid to talk to a beautiful woman. Our mental ideas and thoughts intensify this fear, which can be recognized by a quick and restless breathing.
The Navy Seals always have to keep a cool head and therefore use different techniques with which they can keep their fear under control. Why should not we take advantage of that when we see a pretty woman? If we consciously breathe calmer and deeper, we automatically become more relaxed. A successful flirt is the result!
Flirt University: Now men manage to appeal to a woman without excitement, yet unfortunately we all too often see flirts go wrong after the response. What do you think is the biggest mistake a man can make when flirting?
Walter Bodhi: The biggest mistake that many men make at the beginning of a flirtation is very clear that they are not authentic. Women smell kilometers upwind, when a man "pretends". However, many men make that same mistake and pretend to a woman that she is totally cool, even though she mentally puts all her thoughts into just saying the right thing and doing it to impress her.
For example, a man wants to be humorous and make the woman laugh, even though, in truth, he has no desire for jokes inside. However, every woman will notice something like that! For a successful flirt, it would be much more helpful if the man stands to his nervousness, instead of suppressing it. Once your own nervousness is admitted, it evaporates very quickly.
Flirt University: So far, we have talked extensively about men and the problems of flirting. So far, we have left out the female gender completely. Do you think flirting tips for women differ from flirting tips for men, and if so, at what points?
Walter Bodhi: If you look at it superficially, flirting tips for men are built on status and coolness. In men's magazines are then always the best fitness and money tips and the latest Anmachsprüche. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to be provided with tips for their beauty or youthfulness. Here is the latest diet and the best abdominal exercise ever. But if you go deeper, you will discover that there is no difference between men and women in the field of flirting tips, because the same applies to both:
Be authentic, and follow your heart, because that understands more than the mind.
Flirt University: Do you have a practical tip that you would recommend to any man approaching a woman to make the conversation a success?
Walter Bodhi: Breathe out! You can already have conversations. You've proven that all your life. Say goodbye to ready-made starters and routines and say whatever comes to your mind. And if you can not think of anything, then you can still just say, "Hi, I can not think of anything right now, but I'd like to meet you, is that okay?" And who says that only you have to speak ?
Flirt University: With your tip you are right in every case. Every adult, every day, be it at work or in private, has to talk and prove himself. Can you give us more tips?
Walter Bodhi: I always advise a relaxed, low voice during a flirtation with men. This promotes mutual wellbeing. In addition, every man should take the lead during a flirtation. Women do not like men who do not have their own opinion, but want to be led because they want authentic, male power.
Another problem that many men have with a woman they like is that they are just too nice off. This does not attract the ladies. Nice men are simply boring.
Instead, women are horse whisperers, they want to tame wild stallions and not ride on the pony carousel. They want real guys who have the courage to risk something. They are not staged moments to thirst for. They want a man who takes what he wants, and preferably if she does not expect it! Women do not want a servant to neatly lay out the red carpet for them every day, but a guy who pulls the ground from under her feet.
This creates an irresistible attraction in her, against which she will be almost powerless.
Flirt University: You have really given us some tips on flirting. We would like to ask you a question about science. Why are you convinced that behavioral research can lead to fixed rules about flirting? And from this our next question is derived, are there any rules in love?
Walter Bodhi: I think that science can explain more and more to us why we are actually doing the things we have been doing for ages. Whether these rules are as "fixed" as this question claims to be is put to rest - but they are an effective aid. Because many men need something that explains the world to them and gives them guidelines, such as how a successful flirtation works. They then have a construct in their heads that helps them to rely more on themselves. And I think that's great!
For the second part of the question I would like to answer romantically and equally realistically. Of course, romantically there are no rules in love.
Realistically, love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, lubricating our emotional motor and making us shine the colors of the world. Love can neither be enforced nor suppressed, but there are some interesting facts and figures that help us and you to be loved more often and to love more often. I have listed these for you in my book.
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