You have always believed that your love will survive everything. Your family has often told you that you do not fit together. Yet you knew she was the woman for life. You even pulled together. But in recent weeks she has withdrawn more and more. She has not responded to you, barely talked. Until she tells you that she wants to part with them.
It took some time for these words to really get through to you and you realized that they were serious.
You realize that a separation hurts. You have lived through separations in the past and therefore know that these are never easy. But this time it is different. You really want to get her back. You know that you will never be as happy with anyone else in your life as you. She is the one with whom you want to grow old.
If you want to win back your ex girlfriend, a contact ban is inevitable
You have very strong feelings for her. To the love that you feel for her is now joined by the fear of loss and despair. Clear that you can not think properly in this emotional chaos.
But before you do what exactly exerts the opposite effect on what you were hoping for, let us explain how you should act now.
The first thing you have to keep to strictly is the contact ban. It is the first step you have to go if you want to recover your ex girlfriend.
How does the contact lock work?
In fact, the term already says it all. You will not seek contact with her from you. No calls, no messages. You do not beg her to come back to you. You do not ring at your door in the evening. And you do not even call her after you've had a drink. You will do nothing to contact yourself. Also not because of any objects that are still lying around and belong to you.
Every time you're tempted to come back to her, remember the following: Keep your dignity. Do not humiliate yourself in front of her. Do not make her feel that you can not live without her. First, this is highly unattractive and, secondly, it damages your own self-esteem.
Use the time of the contact lock to find yourself. Question what you really want from life. What you are hoping for. What goals do you have? Where you want to stand professionally in five years. Look at what you have achieved and experienced so far in your life. Can you say that you are satisfied with that? Have you used your life to the fullest? If not, what prevented you? And what is stopping you now from giving your life a decisive turn in a more exciting direction?
See contact blocking as a way to reflect on what exactly your relationship has failed. In which moments have you not received enough attention? Do not make the mistake that you are looking for the blame only on you. Go through your mind, too, when you would have wished for a different behavior on your part. Because: If you should come together again and you have skipped this decisive step, your two attempt will also fail, after all, nothing has changed.
What is the use of the contact ban in relation to your ex girlfriend? Very easily. She also has plenty of time to reflect and reflect on her life, including the relationship with you. The period in which you have no contact with each other will show if she still has feelings for you or not. Because now she will notice if she misses you. On the other hand, if you write to her daily, that miss on her side can not happen. Instead, she's getting more and more distant and you are reducing your chances of getting back to her.
When does the contact ban end?
Depending on how your relationship ended and what was the reason for the separation, the contact suspension takes different lengths. In general, if she seeks out contact with you, you may allow it. However, this is subject to a restriction. If she writes you a message at WhatsApp or an SMS, then do not take this opportunity to communicate with her perpetually via smartphone. For example, if things she still wants to pick up from you, then you just answer "Hey Laura, I just do not have time to clarify with you. Just call me today at 6pm. "
If she answers you with a message in which she may explain that she can not talk on the phone (for whatever reason), you will not agree. You only react when you really invest something by yourself. Meaning if she calls you, rings your front door or appeals to you at a birthday party. But typing at WhatsApp is not an investment.
Concentrate on your own life in the next step
After a breakup, it's hard for us to perceive the positive aspects of life. We only think about our ex and hope and fear that she wants us back. We wonder if we should have acted differently and what we should have done differently for the relationship to last.
It is good, important and necessary to reflect one's own behavior. But it is important to know when the moment has come, that we have had enough to reflect on everything and that we have to look ahead again. As long as you blame yourself all the time, you are damaging your self-confidence. Try, even if it's hard to regain your love of life again.
How did you spend your free time before you met your ex? Why do not you run more often in your spare time? Often, in a partnership, we tend to rest on it. Although we used to be a very active person, in the last few months we have only sat in front of the TV together with the ex. No wonder the blanket is falling on our heads now.
Why do not you meet with your buddies again? Of course, during your partnership, you've reported yourself to your friends much less often. No wonder you now have the feeling that you no longer have friends and you feel alone.
But, you know what? That's not true! Your friends are your friends because they like you for your own sake, and they will forgive you well and gladly that you have reported less frequently in recent years. Of course, you have to expect that they will give you a spell at your next bar night, in the spirit of "Well, boy, that took a few years to free you from your shackles, " but that's about it beautiful.
The fear that your friends are no longer interested in you sits alone in your head. Your friends, on the other hand, will be happily surprised when you report back. So grab your smartphone and consciously choose a number that you have not chosen for far too long.
A little digression: Let sick leave or go work?
Depending on our emotional state, we do not feel able to work. But we are not physically ill, which is why we have a bad conscience towards colleagues. Shall we get sick because of a break-up? Does the doctor even do that?
Whether you want to stay at home, you should make it dependent on whether you really do not consider yourself fit for work. Especially if you could endanger your job as soon as you are not one hundred percent concentrated, it is better to settle down at home.
But also remember that the job is a very good distraction. Anyone who has a sick leave can no longer get out of his shack and atrophy in his own four walls. Social contacts with others help us to not focus exclusively on separation. If we also do our jobs successfully, it will do our self-esteem good.
In summary, you can best assess yourself and it is up to you to decide if you want to get sick leave. Keep in mind, however, that your job distracts you. On the other hand, you do not have to worry about going to the doctor. If you tell him that you are miserable because of the break-up, he will not stand in the way of the sick leave.
Who wants to win back the ex girlfriend must show her that he is fine
At some point you will meet her. After all, you've been together long enough. At some point you meet her on the birthday of a friend, at a city festival or, if you live in a small town, in the supermarket.
What impression should she then gain from you? Should she be able to look at you directly, that you feel sick? That you do not want to live without her? That you even got yourself sick? Or should she see the attractive man she once fell in love with? Who at that time drew her eye?
What we want to convey to you: The harder a separation meets, the more we tend to let ourselves go afterwards. We get sick and sit in the apartment all day. Completely unmotivated to rise from the sofa. We're wearing the sweatpants we've been wearing for the past week and the same T-shirt that we had on the breakup and that tells us we've had nothing but doner kebabs since the breakup. We smell of sweat, but we do not even notice it.
And we have lost all inhibitions: If we had never gone outside in such an outfit before, we do not care about anything now. And now imagine, in this elevator, you meet your ex at the supermarket checkout, just as you're buying a pack of tipping and frozen pizza. You want to win back your ex girlfriend? You will not succeed in this outfit! How do you think, she reacts? We can tell you. She will look at you compassionately from top to bottom, but she will not come back from it. And you feel even more miserable afterwards.
You would feel much better if you were to meet her in an outfit that would have easily convinced you in every job interview. And you would have noticed how admiring she looked at you.
Of course, showing her that you're fine and mastering your life is not just about your outfit. Go out more often! Meet with old friends! Visit your family more often. Go back to old hobbies. Pass the time. How about just book a trip to Sweden on your own? After all, you always wanted to go there.
Firstly, living your life means that your self-esteem is not completely worn down. It also has the effect of being told about it. Through mutual friends, she will eventually realize that you are really living your life now and will not let you pass by any longer. And that is the moment when you become attractive to her again. Suddenly, she realizes that you have become the man she first met and fell in love with.
Is the success of this procedure guaranteed?
In a nutshell: no. But if you want to regain your ex girlfriend and she still has feelings for you, this is the only way you still have a chance. However, of course it is difficult if she has no feelings for you anymore. Then she will not miss you through the contact ban, but feel relieved that she has decided to make that decision.
Promising is the method when your partnership is broken due to difficult circumstances but still loves you.
During the contact block, did you realize that you no longer want to win back your ex girlfriend, but that you locked up with her? Since the breakup, a few months have passed and you're on the lookout since then, but you just can not find anyone that suits you?
Then ask us for a flirt coaching for men. Our love experts will show you how you can actively approach, talk to, flirt with, and even get their number on strangers. So that you finally find the right one. We look forward to hearing from you.