Know feelings and understand them - this is how you learn to assess your feelings correctly

Here you will learn how to assess your feelings!

There are so many emotions that most people in their lives experience more than once: love, anger, grief, fear, joy. But there are also less strong and pronounced ones. How do you recognize them and understand them? We answer these questions here!

This is how the first kiss succeeds!

What are feelings?

Emotions are also referred to as emotions and are "emotional states". There are an infinite number of them. The basic feelings are anger, fear, grief, happiness, disgust and surprise.

But there are many others, all of which are distinguished by slight variations. There are negative emotions like shame, suffering, regret, frustration, loneliness, envy and many more. But also many positive ones: sympathy, love, hope, euphoria, etc.

These feelings make us human, but are also (partially) observed in mammals. It is difficult to control emotions because they affect behavior directly and directly. Sometimes these also prevent us from living our lives in a logical way.

How do we experience feelings?

Paul Ekman tells, fittingly to this question: "When an emotion is triggered or triggered, then we usually do not consciously realize the process that caused it. He remains hidden from our consciousness. Only afterwards does it become clear to us that something has scared us, but in the beginning we do not perceive the uplifting of the feeling.

That happens automatically, in a fraction of a second. Even the Dalai Lama says that he can not observe this. However, what he perceives and what we can perceive with much practice, is the emergence of the action impulse, which is also very short.

The Buddhists are very focused on this impulse. Mindfulness meditation forces one to focus attention on automatic processes. Breathing is an automatic process, you do not need to think about it.

Running is also an automatism - once you have learned it, stop thinking about it, just as you do not bring food to the mouth about the process. Through meditation one becomes aware of such automatic actions and builds up new nerve connections.

My theory [...] says that these nervous connections, built up by controlled breathing, running, and eating, allow the control of emotional impulses, which are also automatic. Anyone who becomes aware of automatic processes, also becomes aware of other automatisms.

The ideal image of compassion, and here I totally agree with the Buddhists, is the relationship between parent and child when the parents are not neurotic. The question is how to expand this circle. Some people obviously do this without any Buddhist training, such as nurses, doctors, emergency room staff or paramedics.

But for most people the compass of compassion is limited and no one knows how to expand it. Can we even expect everyone to follow the example of the Dalai Lama and develop compassion for all sentient beings? "

How do you recognize feelings?

Often we do not recognize the feelings in ourselves. Is it frustration, despair or even hatred for a person? You can only find that out yourself by taking a deep breath and listening carefully to yourself:

Can it be that the particular person just frustrated you? Maybe you are not desperate, but you have to pull out of this situation first to get a clear head again? And is your emotion really so strong that it could be hate? Through this critical engagement with yourself, you can recognize your own feelings.

And in others, it's similar: you feel that your opposite seems to be hateful. Put yourself in their situation: Could it be "only" envy? You can better respond to this emotion because it is not as strong as hate.

It is also important here that you should try the situation as possible without your own emotions, if you want to read the feelings of the other. Incidentally, the body language reveals a great deal about the different feelings, affinity symbolizes, for example, sympathy.

How can I understand feelings?

It is important that you pay attention to it: Everybody feels differently, carries different feelings and characteristics around with them. Gender also plays a major role in emotions - especially men often have a hard time showing their feelings openly.

Women, in turn, see this as a rejection of their selves, expecting something completely different (through their own dealings with feelings). Therefore always be understanding, put yourself in the position of the other to understand his or her feelings.

This also applies to you: Sometimes there are situations in which a particular emotion takes over and brings us to actions that we did not actually intend to do. How can it come to that?

Since feelings, as already explained, are unconscious, they come partly from the depths of our subconscious. A small sentence, a phrase or even a look can make an emotion come up - and control our behavior.

Since, as Ekman pointed out, we can not control the direct response unless we are aware of it, untrained people can do only one thing at first:

Reviewing the situation afterwards (when you've calmed down again) and possibly applying the insight you draw to it to the next, similar situation.

Do you have feelings that you can not express properly or would like to know more about the great emotion of love, feel it yourself? Then turn to our love professionals who will teach you all about love in our coveted flirt coaching.

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