There is probably no worse feeling than to be told that love is no longer based on reciprocity and that the partner no longer has enough feelings.
But what does this weighty phrase mean for your partnership? Is the relationship automatically at the end? Can there still be hope for a common future?
He says he does not love me anymore - Can I win him back?
In general, we are dealing here with a very difficult starting position. Because we have to assume that the partner has thought about his feelings long before he informed us.
Because no one just spontaneously reveals to the partner that the feelings for the relationship are no longer sufficient. Most people weigh very carefully if they are really sure that they are not happy with the relationship anymore. This has the consequence that the doubting partner is mostly very sure of his missing feelings. A chance to win back is when the partner terminates the relationship not because of feelings but because of external circumstances.
Is it really lacking in feelings or is the cause somewhere else?
Often, people decide to end their relationship even though they still have feelings for the other. But the eternal quarrels wear down, the never-ending discussions severe, the constant jealousy destroys the trust and generally the mood is simply on the ground. Maybe then also the relationship is constantly interfering and says to have to spread poisonous mood between the couple and perfect is the broken partnership.
Such a situation causes the couples to choose to go their separate ways, although the feelings have not yet completely vanished.
Maybe this is also the case with you.
Maybe he has told you that he does not love you anymore, but what is really lacking is a healthy relationship base. He just can not stand the unpleasant mood between you anymore or he has the feeling that the feelings between you are not enough to be happy together in the long run.
If this is the case with you, chances are that you will be able to get closer to it. However, the prerequisite for this is that you are both willing to work on your own behavior. That's exactly why it fails with most couples who are just before the relationship off. They pull themselves together for a day or two, maybe for a week, and then fall right back into the old patterns.
Speak honestly and openly with each other
In order for your relationship to have a chance, it is imperative that you speak honestly and openly. What is it that he lacks in the relationship?
Is it generally the tense mood? Or was there perhaps a specific trigger? has it even come to the point where he betrayed you?
These are all aspects that you should talk about if you want to hold on to the partnership together.
Depending on how many years you have spent together and whether you are married, maybe even have children, it may also make sense to think about a couples therapy. There you have the opportunity to have an expert look at your partnership, which will guide you step by step in finding a way out of the crisis.
If love is completely extinguished, you should let go of it
The situation is different when his feelings for you are completely lost. If you have disintegrated so much that he just does not feel anything for you, you can not just bring these missing feelings back to him. Love can not be forced.
The only helpful thing in this situation is to end the contact with each other and (if you live together) that as soon as possible one of you will move out.
In this way you have the opportunity to better process the separation and to become aware of your feelings. Maybe you're lucky and he suddenly realizes, while you're apart, how much he misses you.
But do not put too much hope on it, for your sake alone. Instead, try to come to terms with the new situation. Above all, keep in mind that you are still adorable!
Often, after a breakup, the negative thought spreads in us that we will never find a man again, that not a single man can find us attractive, maybe even that we are not gracious. Through such thoughts, we destroy ourselves! Try to free yourself from it!
Consider the separation as a chance to find someone who really loves you
Even if it is very difficult, if his decision is final, you have no choice but to accept it. However, your own self-esteem will thank you if you do not keep crying and clinging to the relationship.
No. Why waste your time with a person at your side who does not feel the same for you as you do for them? Instead, see the separation as a chance to finally find a man who truly and truly loves you with all your heart. For you too deserve to lead a happy life.
Do you feel that you will never get over your ex? You do not know how you can ever get involved in a new relationship?
Ask us for a flirt coaching for women. Our flirting professionals will help you to get over the breakup and show you how to successfully attract the attention of men in your everyday life and how to get them to speak to you. So that you too find the right person who loves you just as much as you love him. We look forward to hearing from you.