Alienation in Partnership - When the lovers become strangers to each other

At the beginning of a relationship, we feel happy and fulfilled.

Unfortunately, only in the course of time does it become apparent how well two people really fit together. It is all the more frightening if one of the two feels barely understood by the partner over time, maybe even gets the feeling that the partner turns away from him and it slowly but surely comes to an estrangement in the relationship.

How do I know that my partner is becoming a stranger to me?

It is usually an inner feeling that tells us that our relationship is no longer what it was at the beginning.

We somehow do not feel safe, no longer understood and feel that we are alone despite our relationship. However, there are, of course, general signs that indicate that the partner is not the soulmate we saw in him at the beginning of the partnership.

All at once even the smallest details lead to quarrels and disagreements. Not only do we not feel understood by the partner, but more and more often we feel that we are deliberately misunderstood and provoked by him or her.

As a result, we no longer feel like telling our partner anything else about us. After all, we feel that whatever we say is misconceived anyway. We barely talk to each other and no longer share the experiences of our everyday life with each other.

However, this behavior is fatal, because it drives the alienation even faster. If a couple no longer talks to each other, it is not possible for both of them to know what is going on in each other or what the other person feels and thinks.

This in turn often means that the couple spends less and less time together. The proximity of the other is no longer desired, but is annoying at once. Meanwhile, we prefer to meet with good friends, instead of spending the weekend with the partner or the partner, to escape at least for a few hours the bad mood in your own home. Of course, this does not help to improve the relationship between the couple.

How can I counteract the alienation?

The sticking point is already here in the question. Because it is clear that one alone can not save the relationship and is unable to stop the process of alienation. If two partners have alienated each other, it is always the task of both to approach each other again. If the will to change is only one of the two, this is nice and good and testifies to true strength of character, but if they are not both willing to approach each other and make more of each other's strength, the partnership is still Doomed.

It is therefore advisable to first seek the conversation with the partner and even talk about the problem. We need to tell him or her that we feel we're getting more and more apart and we're not happy anymore. Because maybe our partner or our partner does not even realize how unhappy we are.

Now it is important that both find out in a common conversation (without blaming each other), which aspects they currently feel in the relationship as disturbing and what they are missing.

It is important that both remain calm during this conversation, otherwise the danger is too great that the conversation ends in a fight again and the couple turns in a circle.

Try to empathize with your partner

Even if we do not want to admit it: Of course we are in everyday life based on ourselves. Who is closer to us than our own person?

Sometimes we forget that we do not just have to look after each other for a happy partnership, but above all to put ourselves in the same position. This ability is also called empathy. Those who are not capable of empathy, quickly gets into conflict with other people and misunderstands them.

We may sometimes feel that our partner provokes us by purpose. But have we ever mentally put ourselves into our partner and think about why he acted as he did?

It is quite possible that we were very angry that he or she had spontaneously canceled dinner with our family and that even though the evening had been planned a long time and our parents have counted firmly with us in company.

But have we also thought that he wanted to finish the project for the company, so that he could enjoy the holiday with us now, completely relaxed?

Often, when we feel provoked by our partner, we do not want to understand the other's point of view. Simply because we are hurt and we want to get angry. If we put ourselves in the other person, we can not only understand their views, it may also dawn on us that maybe even we are the ones who have wronged the partner.

Which patterns always cause quarrels?

In every normal partnership there is friction and even quarrels. It is important that the differences of opinion do not prevail and that everyday life does not only consist exclusively of quarrels. Because this leads to alienation of both. If we take a moment, we may be able to recognize the patterns that keep dispute.

Nothing works without compromise

As soon as two people meet and share life, they both inevitably have to compromise. Even when both feel they have found a soulmate in the other. After all, our next soulmate is also a different person, which will lead to situations in which both do not agree with each other. In situations like this one, both need to be willing to meet in the middle.

Especially here, the golden mean should be the goal. Always abandon one of them to their desires and put their own needs behind them in the hope of approaching the partner or partner and re-establishing a healthier partnership. Compromises mean that both take turns taking into account the wishes of the other, not that one alone always backs for the sake of the other.

Are you even willing to work on your partnership?

A relationship can only be saved, if at all desired by both. However, if one of the partners has already given up the relationship, it will be an impossible task to get the partnership back in the right direction.

However, this requires honesty. Have you ever talked openly with him or her about whether he or she still wants to stick to the relationship? To admit that one no longer loves the partner is difficult and it is quite possible that he or she will assure us at the first moment that he still loves us. But just as it can happen, then after some time out of the partner's mouth the words that he or she has already completed with the partnership, may have fallen in love with someone else.

Your relationship is not good? You also know the phenomenon of alienation but you do not know what you can do about it? Then ask us for a flirt coaching for men. Our flirting professionals help you save your relationship. So that you too will finally be happy again. We look forward to hearing from you.

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