Almost everyone wishes he had more: self-esteem. Every day we find ourselves in a variety of situations that either strengthen our self-confidence or deprive us of that very fact. If the boss rushes into the office in the morning with rage, keeps a bug under our noses and does not even let us have a say, we are angry, sad and disappointed. In such moments, the self-confidence gets a little crack.
If we shop in the supermarket and the cashier says with a smile on our face, that we wear a cool shirt, our self-confidence rises again a little.
It is ideal when positive and negative experiences always balance each other. So the self-esteem stays at a healthy level. Neither will we get totally lifted one day and feel better than all the people around us, nor do we have the feeling that we are an inconspicuous personality.
But what if your own self-confidence is not as strong as we would like it to be? If casual comments immediately throw us off track and we take everything personally? When we look like an inconspicuous mouse to the outside?
If you want to be self-confident, keep in mind what you have already achieved
People with low self-esteem do not have in mind what they have already achieved in life. They often feel like they're always failing or always on the spot. It is not so. We have achieved a lot in the last months and years, but we are not aware of it.
Also, it's not always the really big things we've done. Even a lot of little things and abilities that others do not have are praiseworthy. You have a super school diploma or even graduation now? You left a great impression with the landlord and got a pointed apartment?
When it comes to fixing cars, does not anyone make you that fast? You are absolutely sure in German spelling and grammar and it is easy for you to correct written elaborations of others? Are you playing a beautiful guitar? You are damn good in the kitchen and conjure up delicious menus? Nobody is better in Excel?
Every person has talents, but he is mostly unaware of them. So become aware of your talents and the things you've already achieved. What is it, what are your strengths? What can you do especially good?
We become self-confident by working on our weaknesses
Let's turn the question around. What is it that keeps your self-esteem small? What is stopping you? What do you personally see as the cause that you do not believe in yourself, maybe you do not like yourself?
Just as every human being has talents, every human being has weaknesses. These can be completely different. The one is choleric, quickly leaves the skin and leaves his frustration on people who have not caused the situation. The other man just can not manage to change his diet but is totally dissatisfied with his weight. Another one hates his own laziness, but he simply can not manage to overcome himself.
What are the aspects that you do not like about yourself? And more importantly, how can you change those aspects? Are you even capable of tackling them alone and working on them?
Being self-confident also means showing the willingness to work on oneself and to change the points on one's own person that disturb one.
Be aware that you are adorable
Everybody knows them. These days when you just do not like yourself. Days when we look in the mirror in the morning and our skin looks pale and unhealthy.
Days when we feel thick and swollen.
Days when we find our hair absolutely ugly or we suddenly recognize the progression of hair loss with fright.
Days when we are just lying on the couch lazily, munching chips and sinking into self-hatred at the end of the day, because we let our precious time go by again and again.
It is on such days that we encounter everything but affectionate. There is nobody but ourselves who is closer to us. And if we do not even like each other, how should other people do it? The first step towards a healthier self-confidence therefore always means to work on oneself, but also to accept oneself and to meet with love.
If you want to be self-confident, you have to let things bounce off you
We should not let any comments or negative interpersonal experience get us down and let us go down. We know from ourselves that there are days when we are simply in a bad mood. The people around us are no different.
It is important that we just let it bounce off us when we drive home after work in the S-Bahn and an elderly gentleman grudges us and leaves his bad mood to us when a neighbor snappishly reacts to us or a colleague us something for which we can do nothing.
Just keep in mind at such moments that you can be damned glad not to put in their skin, after all, something bad has seemed to have leaked over their lungs.
You want to become self-confident, especially in the presence of women? You want to be able to easily flirt with them without being constantly tense and being inhibited by your own fears?
Then ask us for a flirt coaching for men. Our flirt coaches show you how you can confidently approach, address and flirt with other women in your everyday life. So you too have more success with women. We look forward to hearing from you!