In fact, the feeling of loneliness does not depend solely on the partner. We often envy the people we believe are very popular and never feel alone. But this appearance is deceptive. Even people with a large circle of friends are not freed from feeling lonely. Because the feeling of loneliness is not prevented by a partner or many friends, but is a matter of the mind. If we feel misunderstood and unloved, the sense of loneliness gradually spreads like an ulcer in us.
Doubts like "No one understands me", "No one knows what it looks like in me", "My friends are not interested in me", "My partner is no longer interested in me", ensure that we are still in company Feeling alone and abandoned deep inside.
Even a relationship does not guarantee that there will never be moments when we feel left alone. Above all, partnerships that have been held for many years are affected. Because often the relationship becomes routine, the partners talk less and less with each other, no longer show their interest in the other and live past each other without realizing it.
Lonely despite relationship? Question about the causes
If you feel lonely despite a partnership, you should do research on where this feeling came from. The following questions can help to determine where our inner emptiness and sense of being alone come from:
- Do you talk with your partner about your feelings and what's going on in you?
- Is there something that you lack in the partnership or what you would wish for your partner?
- Do you often feel misunderstood by your partner or do you even feel that you do not want to understand your position?
- Do you really feel loved by your partner?
- Do you feel generally unloved, not only by your partner, but in general?
Honest answers to these questions can be very painful, but they are a crucial step in getting the partnership back on track.
Lonely in the relationship - Is something coming from your side?
If the feeling of loneliness is really in the relationship itself, it's time to reflect on one's own behavior. It is easy to criticize others. Allegations that are directed to the partner and express that one of them no longer feels loved and lonely are quickly pronounced.
But to demand only love, if the demanding person himself does not go out, duration can not work either. So the really crucial question is, how do we behave ourselves towards our partner? Who does not give love, can not expect a love back. A happy relationship always consists of give and take.
Do we show our love to our partner? Do we give him enough attention? When was the last time we sat next to our partner, looked him in the eye and honestly asked him how he was doing? How it works? What concerns him at the moment?
These are questions that long-term couples are less and less likely to face over the years. They believe that they know exactly how the partner is ticking, which means that the conversations ebb and both become alien to one another.
Lonely despite relationship, because nothing comes back from the partner?
In that case, the only thing that really helps to look for the conversation. Only when a couple communicates openly and honestly can solutions be found for possible problems.
It is important to openly and honestly tell the partner that we want more interest.
Here, however, it is important to note the different languages of love. Everyone shows their love in a different way. Having two people together who speak two different languages of love can quickly make both feel unloved because they simply do not recognize each other's love affirmations.
After a clarifying conversation it is important to wait and see if something changes or improves in the relationship. It can not be expected that the partnership will grow to full bloom overnight and will be just as thrilling and exciting as it was in the initial phase. A partnership that is a bit out of balance requires one thing above all: time.
This time can and should be achieved by every couple. Instead of rushing through everyday life and investing his energy in things that are not actually important to us, we should return to our partnership more often and give her enough time to recover.
For example, a weekend spent in a beautiful spa hotel offers the option to switch off. At the same time we have plenty of time, which we can use for intensive discussions to get closer to our partner.
Is the feeling of loneliness really at the partner or at the friends?
Again and again it can be observed with couples that once they have found each other, they neglect their friends. At the beginning, during the infatuation phase, it is perfectly normal for every second of one's free time spent with the new partner at the side. However, what matters is whether something changes in this situation.
Some people maintain this behavior. Friends are canceled, the weekends are best spent as a couple at home on the sofa. Depending on how long the relationship holds and this game is already driven with the friends, they pull back sometime. The couple isolates themselves from their social environment without noticing.
Only when, for example, a crisis in the partnership comes, both partners notice that they are suddenly alone. For too long, both have graveled by friends and acquaintances, so that they are no longer asked if the circle of friends does something.
Even when the conflict with the partner sets in again, both will not let go of the feeling of loneliness they have experienced during this period. In addition, dependence on the partner also increases. What if he or she stops? Both fear that they would be completely alone.
Whether we feel lonely in a relationship does not depend solely on our partner, but also on our own attitude towards ourselves and the relationship. If we have the expectation that the partner should make us happy and make sure that we are not lonely, we impose on him an incredibly difficult task, which he can not fulfill in the long run.
Do you feel that your partnership is not feeling well and you really want to part with it? But you are afraid to be alone forever? Then you should ask us for a flirt coaching. Our flier experts will give you tips on how to work on your relationship and explain what you need to do to make you happy again. We look forward to hearing from you.