Especially at the beginning of a new partnership many questions are asked to get to know each other better.
The first, superficial questions usually consist in phrases about the profession, the study and what one currently loves to do. But eventually it gets deeper. How is one politically positioned? What is your relationship with your parents and siblings?
What do we believe in? Such questions help both to pinpoint who they are dealing with. At such a moment, the truth comes to the table: Do you fit together or do you prefer to stay put? A particularly difficult topic are sex partners and former partnerships.
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Past sexual partners can quickly cause a stir
Emancipation or not: To this day, the idea is anchored in most people's minds that it does not matter to men how many women they have slept with, while women with several changing acquaintances are quickly regarded as crooked. When it comes to sexual partners, it often comes to the table faster than it pleases, which has the views of the partner or the partner regarding such topics.
The subject of jealousy also plays a role in this topic. Although the former ex-girlfriends are past love affairs that are no longer important in the present, yet it can put the new partner in the heart when he learns how many years you have really spent with the past partner or why the past relationship is broken.
If, for example, the newcomer learns that the last relationship has been ended by the ex and one has been fighting for that person for months, it can quickly give the impression that there are still feelings for the ex or the ex.
What if former sex partners are even in the circle of friends?
Not everyone chooses his sexual partner intelligently. So it happens that you have already snubbed with a good friend or even landed in bed. Now, however, you have a new partner on the side. Should you tell her that something has happened to one of her friends?
In that case, you should address the topic. Because especially when the sexual partner is a person of the circle of friends, your new partner will meet him or her even more often.
The danger that she or she will get it out is so great. If you have concealed this fact and your new love experiences this in a roundabout way, there is often a (actually baseless) jealousy, as the new partner suspects that there must be a reason why you have not covered this story.
How should I react to questions about former sex partners?
We do not recommend addressing the topic of past one-night stands or affairs by yourself. However, if your new partner comes back to this, we advise you to be honest, but not to go into too much detail. Some questions also do not serve the curiosity about past sexual partners, but simply to get an idea of the importance of sex and intimacy with the new partner.
If she asks you, if you have ever had anal intercourse, it is perfectly legitimate to answer it honestly. What did you two do when you lie to each other? You should save each other an exact number of how many women or men you have had sex with and how and when you have gone home to whom.
What good is the knowledge of how many men or women the new partner has already enjoyed? The only thing that arises is an uneasy feeling in the stomach.
If the topic is addressed, alumni must not be made bad
Many people are scared when the topic of sexual partners comes up, that this does not work very well with the current partner and try to save the situation by explaining how bad the sex was with the last affair or how terribly selfish the last partner is was. However, this does not save anything from the situation, on the contrary.
No matter how horrible the last relationship has been, or how corrosive the last ONS has been, nobody should shake their mouths about such topics. Clearly, if you have been betrayed and have problems since then, you can be trusted. But details from past vacations, exact stories of sex positions or what you've experienced with the previous person, all these things should be left out.
After all, the stories are over, and so is the relationship. Too much talk about the former partner or partner just makes it too easy to get the impression that there are still feelings in the game or that you let the ex appear bad to emerge from the separation as the innocent lamb. And something like that does not make a good impression at all!
Talking about past sexual partners can quickly be a cause for concern and plunge the new relationship directly into the first crisis. So please do not delve into details if you ever get to talk about this topic. You have had little contact with women since your last partnership, because you do not know how to deal with the female gender?
Then ask us for a flirt coaching. Our flier experts will show you how to overcome your shyness and how you can actively approach, address and flirt with strangers in your everyday life. So you are no longer alone. We look forward to hearing from you.