End a friendship - when closeness does not do us any good

Ending an old friendship is difficult for us

Nevertheless, it is often necessary. Many friendships falter during the time. Even at school or study time, one promises to always be heard regularly from each other. What we really hear from each other? Nothing.

Other friendships remain, which does not necessarily mean they are fulfilling or a soulmate. Time brings with it that we change. Our appearance, our political and religious views, our idea of ​​the future. We become more critical, more reflective and suddenly realize that we have moved away from a former friend.

Some friendships develop a destructive potential over time

Only because two people have lived apart and are not always of the same opinion or view does not mean that this friendship has to be ended. On the contrary.

We humans are different, everyone may have their own world view and represent it. However, many years later, we often find that this human being as our side, whom we have long termed a good friend, is extremely manipulative and spends his time with us only out of means to an end.

We are slowly but surely painfully aware that our counterpart has often presented us with a construct of lies or is incredibly adept at turning the words around in our mouths and thereby repeatedly portraying ourselves as victims.

It is often the people closest to us who we believe will always be there for us, who will not give us our happiness and who will enjoy it when we feel bad.

Signs that it is better to end the friendship

The meetings with the friend or the girlfriend are made only from a pure sense of duty. Basically, we're not looking forward to the encounter, just because we know we can not do much with the other person.

We can not be ourselves at meetings with him or her. Instead we have the feeling that we have to pretend and not express our true opinion so as not to offend our counterpart.

We are no longer interested in the other person. It has simply become unimportant to us over time. We politely ask what life is like, what the weekend has been like, whether everything is alright at work, but we really do not care about it.

We no longer contact the other person because we do not feel the need to share events from our lives with them and are not interested in learning what's going on with the other person in life.

We feel that the friendship with the other person does us no good. She pulls us down because he or she deprives us of our positive feelings with his bad mood, we feel that it is always about the other and in addition, or that one does not begrudge us our own happiness.

How can a friendship end?

Maybe the other person is very similar to ourselves. She also has the feeling that the friendship no longer gives her anything and only contacts us to clear her conscience.

Oftentimes, such friendships work out by themselves, letting them fall asleep. We report less often, the other one announces itself less often and all of a sudden one hears nothing from each other.

It looks different when our counterpart is not aware that we find the friendship to be very stressful. Then it is advisable to seek a clarifying conversation, even if this is particularly difficult for us.

However, we owe it to the other person to send more than just a derogatory message via WhatsApp. It is important not to attack the friend in such a conversation. The explanation "Listen, I feel like we have completely disintegrated. The friendship does not give me any more "may sound tough, but it is very honest.

However, it is also important to remain true to yourself in such a conversation, no matter how the other reacts when we end the friendship. Well possible that he or she falls from the clouds, is shocked and begins to cry, breaks a fight off the fence, blames us on the strange relationship, etc.

But now it is important to stay true to your own decision. After all, it was not for fun that we decided to end the friendship. Anyone who takes such a drastic measure has considered this well in advance and probably struggled for a long time whether this is really the right decision.

We ourselves have to be happy with our lives - sometimes this only works if we leave certain relationships behind us

We just have one life. Reason enough to do everything in this one life to be really happy. However, under certain circumstances, this can also mean letting go and getting rid of old ballast. Letting go of ex-relations that did us no good. But also letting go of "friends" that prevent us from really becoming happy.

Nevertheless, this step of course wants to be thoughtful. A true friendship does not arise overnight. Ending a friendship because of a dispute is often overdrawn, even disputes and disagreements are part of an interpersonal relationship.

But if we find that friendship really pulls us down permanently, then we should break away from it, so that we can put our energy and power into the things that really make us happy.

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