Without realizing it, the relationship has slowly changed. Little things lead to quarrels, the presence of the partner is often enough to be irritated. Although he or she says nothing wrong, a single word brings us to explode. Nothing is done together weekend after weekend, but everyone goes by himself for what he enjoys the most.
Until we are suddenly approached by another person who obviously flirts with us and openly shows her interest. And then it suddenly becomes clear to us: We realize that we lack something in the relationship, that we miss love and traction and that we have lived apart in recent years. We are in the middle of a marriage crisis, without realizing it.
It is normal for the butterflies in the stomach to be lost in the course of marriage
Of course, we all enjoy the excitement and the tingling in the stomach at the beginning of the relationship, which is felt every time we meet again. But we should also realize that this condition will not last forever.
Everyday life returns. When children then come into play, many spouses no longer perceive themselves as a couple and two lovers, but only see each other as mother and father. Everything is about the household and the children, the relationship is behind this. In this phase, it usually comes to the first disputes and slowly burgeoning dissatisfaction. Lack of sleep and stress contribute to the rest.
But often the warning signals are overlooked during this time. Instead, they both come to terms with their situation and settle for it or settle for it. They hope the partnership will return to life as it once was.
Over the years, however, nothing changes in this situation, on the contrary. The frustration increases, anger builds up. The spouses talk less and less with each other and keep their distance. Only when the quarrels do not stop, many realize that they have a real problem.
The realization that the partnership is not working anymore is the first step to recovery
The marriage crisis can only be overcome if both have determined for themselves that they are no longer happy. Because often both are so caught up in their daily routine that they do not feel that they are getting more and more away from their partner, until it suddenly comes to an affair, and a separation seems inevitable.
Now it is time to name what exactly the problems in the partnership are. Did you just live apart and is it enough to plan more common ventures outside your own four walls at the weekends?
Or is the marriage crisis already advanced and jealousy and strife rule everyday life? In this case, it is recommended that both sit together on a quiet evening and discuss together what bothers them about the current situation. Even if it is difficult for many people: Relationship problems usually arise from too little communication! Only those who openly address and name things by name can also change something about them.
In such a conversation, it is important that both make sure that the conversation is not just allegations, but that both clearly say what bothers them about the situation. But expressing yourself, which annoys you, is not the solution yet. On the other hand, it is helpful if suggestions are made directly about how something can be changed.
A couple therapist can help!
Above all, women at some point talk to their girlfriends about not being happy in the relationship anymore. But this is the first problem. Talking about it with the girlfriends may at the moment break down the frustration and be helpful, but it will not improve the marriage sustainably.
Instead, a quiet conversation with the spouse would be announced. Because in such a conversation not only solutions to the problems can be found, he also has the opportunity to take sides and to present his own point of view.
Also helpful are sessions with a couple therapist. Many couples are afraid of this step, but why is it? A couple therapist is trained exactly for this case of cases. Regular sessions with him help both to understand and understand the other's point of view in order to get closer to each other.
Many couples also say that professional marriage counseling is too expensive for them. Of course it is true that the service itself has to be paid for and that this is not quite cost-effective, compared to a divorce, it is almost a bargain.
You also have a constant argument, and you do not know what you can do about it? But your partner or partner vehemently refuses to go to a classic dating service? Then ask us for a love seminar for men or a love coaching for women. Our flier experts will discuss your situation with you and give you practical tips on what you can change in your relationship, so that you can approach each other again and lead a harmonious married life again. We look forward to hearing from you.