When people are asked what is important to them in a partnership, the words "loyalty and honesty" almost always fall first.
But although it is incredibly important to many people to be able to rely on the partner and his word, it always leads to side jumps, in which the trust of the other is shamelessly exploited.
Those who have been cheated themselves in the past, it is often difficult to really get involved in someone new fully. Again and again the memories come from the old relationship. Suddenly we realize that we become suspicious when the new partner stays longer at work or has to spontaneously cancel. But what are the characteristics of fraud?
Sign that your partner is alienating you
- The partner redesigns his appearance and rearranges the entire contents of his wardrobe (because he wants to look good for the new person)
- hidden bills over very high costs (for example, high receipts from expensive restaurants, bank statements that reveal high fuel costs)
- The partner increasingly avoids eye contact when we talk to him / her
- Here a rose, there a chocolate. With little attentions that we are not used to and that we are all the happier about, the other tries to calm his guilty conscience
- Although we have not even asked, he explains pettyly down to the smallest detail, where he was, when, at which traffic light he stood for how long and why it took so long in the supermarket
- Sex? None. The partner suddenly does not feel like it anymore
- Again and again the partner emphasizes that a very specific type of man / woman is not his / her type
- As if from nowhere, we blame ourselves for being extremely jealous, even though we only wanted to inquire how each other's day went
- The partner immediately goes to the ceiling for trifles
- Suddenly the partner is interested in completely new hobbies
- Also on the laptop is a music genre that he / she has always made fun of before
- When we meet each other's friends, we realize that they are acting funny towards us and that they feel uncomfortable around us
- We know that he / she has already cheated on former partner
- Increased overtime sound like a bad cliché, but are actually used as an excuse
- The partner suddenly takes the smartphone with him as soon as he goes to the bathroom and generally makes sure that we do not come near his smartphone
- As soon as we enter the apartment, he interrupts his phone calls
- Suddenly the partner goes out of their way and claims to meet with friends, but we are never asked if we would like to come along
- The speedometer in the car jumps by hundreds of kilometers
Let the partner test for his loyalty?
Many people who fear that the partner is a stranger, are afraid to seek a clarifying conversation. There are multiple reasons for that. First of all, people generally tend to close their eyes to bad facts. Many people live better with uncertainty than with a clear, painful answer.
In addition, many assume that the partner does not tell the truth when the gun is put on his chest. They are convinced that the partner will continue to lie and that they will never know the full truth.
Not surprisingly, sufferers often google for so-called loyalty testers.
Loyalty testers offer to check the loyalty of the partner. This is done by a decoy. This writes the person to be tested a message on Facebook or flirts them directly in the evening (depending on which type of test the person affected decides) and checks in this way the loyalty.
Horst Wenzel in an interview with Sputnik about loyalty tester
An open discussion should always be preferred to a loyalty test!
The only really meaningful option we have if we believe we are being cheated is to talk to the partner about it. A loyalty test only delays this conversation. Just because the partner passes the Loyalty Test does not mean that he does not still have an active affair.
If, on the other hand, we find out through the Loyalty Test that the partner meets with others, we will address him at the latest after the test has ended, and he will crack the evidence in his head, furious with anger.
The problem with the matter? In this situation, the partner will most likely turn the tables and blame us for being morbidly jealous. And so jealous that we testers put on him and our jealousy is the trigger for his affair.
All at once, we doubt ourselves and that, though the partner alone is responsible for the infidelity.
You have been cheated on in your last relationship and since then you can no longer trust completely? This is the reason why you have been alone for months, even though you are really looking for a new relationship? Then ask us for a flirt coaching for men. Our flirting professionals will show you how you can actively approach and refer to strange women and thereby meet women who really suit you and who you can relate to. We look forward to hearing from you!