When it comes to getting in touch with strange women, many men suddenly lose their courage. You too know this problem. You'd like to have more contact with women, a good conversation, a sparkling flirt, a date, but every time you see a nice lady, you just can not make it past you and leave your shyness behind.The fear of rejection has many reasons
You are definitely not the only man to struggle with this problem. But where does this widespread phenomenon of fear of rejection of women come from?
One of the reasons lies in our history of evolutionary biology. In the Stone Age it was still about the bare survival. It was crucial for a woman to decide which man she was pregnant with, as she had been vulnerable to a newborn wild animal during and after the pregnancy.
Corresponding caution applied when choosing the partners. The men, in turn, knew that not every woman gets involved. Now when a man approached a woman and was rejected by her, since he did not give her the impression of being able to look after her and her offspring, the other women in the group observed this.
At this point, there is a negative spiral, from which the rejected man did not come out. The other women automatically assumed that this woman must have had a good reason to reject him. Maybe he is too weak to fight a wild animal, maybe he has never killed a buffalo and can not provide enough food, maybe he is limping due to an old wound and the women would be on their own during pregnancy. This means that he is rejected by all the other women in the group and he can not produce his own offspring.
Many men are drawn down by negative experiences
Every man who flirts a lot has to pocket baskets too. That's just how it is and belongs to it. Yet many take such a rejection too much to heart. They believe that it is up to them personally that the woman has rejected them. That they may not look good enough, are not big enough, do not make enough money, are not funny enough, or have too light hair.
But the fact is: it is not up to him, but to her! Have you ever thought that she is really forgiven and that this is not a white lie? Sometimes she's wasting a thought that she's only just getting a break and she wants to be quiet before men?
Sure, a basket never feels nice. But those who always take the baskets personally will lose enormous self-esteem in the long term. And that's what leads to the fear of rejection by the opposite sex getting bigger and bigger, until at some point we do not even talk to women anymore.
The biggest fear is female groups
Talking to a single woman may cost a lot of men an enormous amount of effort, but then it's time to stop talking to a woman traveling with a group. Far too deep is the fear of being laughed at by all women and having to deal with this humiliation.
But when do women run around alone? Whether you're shopping, eating ice cream, dancing or drinking cocktails, most of the time your girlfriends are in tow.
Understand that their rejection has nothing to do with you
If you want to meet women, you need to address women. Anyone who appeals to women must also learn to deal with rejection. It's that simple. Even the most successful seducers can not end up with every woman. Why? Because just about every woman does not feel like betraying her loyal friend, even though she's all lesbian, she wants to break her engagement or bury her hopes for the new boyfriend and instead get involved in someone else's.
So always keep in mind that the reason lay with her, if she rejects you.
It can be helpful for you if you approach women who are calling the right thoughts into their heads. What are you talking about right now when you approach and address a woman? Are you asking things like "I hope you like her?", "I'm her type", "is she on me?".
If that's the case then you're definitely going to flirt with the wrong attitude. Instead, just ask yourself "Now let's see if she suits me" or "Let's see if she suits me?". These new thoughts make sure that you no longer flirt with the situation of having to please her. Instead, test whether it is something for you.
Not all women refuse you
Remember one thing: There are many women out there who are just waiting to meet you. You just had bad luck with your selection so far. So do not let yourself be dragged down by a single experience, but consider every rejection as motivation:
Because every flirt, no matter if it ends successfully or not, means for you that you can practice and improve your flirting skills. And then, when you hit the right track, you'll know exactly what topics you're talking to women about, how you make them laugh, or how you even ask for their number.
However, if your fear of rejecting women is too deep, you are really scared to approach a stranger and just start a conversation with her, then you should seek additional support in the form of flirt coaching. Our flirting professionals will show you how to address and flirt with women in the middle of the day. You will learn about what you can talk to these ladies and how you can even get their number in the end. We look forward to hearing from you!