Part 2 of the column by Svea J. Held: Flirting in spite of relationship
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A hot summer's day, a sunbed in the shade under the apple tree. The bees and bumblebees hum buzzing past, the birds chirping in the brightest tones. A gentle breeze blows as you try to focus on the book in your hand. But the eyes are heavy, you smile briefly to your loved one, until you finally doze lazily. You can still hear the soft rustle of the leaves, feel the breeze on your skin, before you peacefully einnickt. And half an hour later, the scene starts over.
Of course, only after you have taken a small snack and sipped on the rose. No appointments and easy to sit. That's how Harald Juhnke defined happiness. Wonderful, if you can disguise such a Sunday! If you can do it. And do not push the bumblebees in your back to pull up a garden wall, discuss something, or at least check the mails quickly, so you know what to expect in the office the next day.
Lying alone lazy can be quite a challenge if you stay energized for the rest of the week. But sometimes a couple can feel the need to do something. You can not mess around like that! What should the other think? Especially at the beginning of a relationship, when the meetings are still very event oriented and the dates in originality and spectacle are best surpassed again and again, it seems unthinkable, just do nothing.
Too big the fear of being labeled Couchpotatoe or boring. Moreover, silence and idleness can even be unpleasant. Why? Because you are not that familiar yet. One can not classify the silence. Is it an expression of deep contentment and relaxation? Or you just have nothing to say, the air is out? The urge to do or say anything can be so great that at some point you get caught telling the new flame about the weather, the new cupcake recipe or the grandma's knee problems. The main thing is the emptiness is filled. The discovery of silence and laziness thus seems to be reserved for more advanced couples.
Here men can play their core competence in the sense of mutual development as a couple: not talking. Some copies can do that even though they are talking, but that's another topic. However, just not talking to each other, it is very different than being able to say together: Does silence create an air for cutting? Or does she emphasize the lightness of being? If everyone can hang on to their thoughts, if one can sit in silence and do nothing next to each other and even feel good about it, one has discovered something very valuable: the free choice of closeness.
Again and again lazily looking through the penumbra of the apple tree, saying nothing and still understanding each other. When you have achieved that, then you are good in relationship. For "language is the source of misunderstandings, " explains the fox to the Little Prince and wants to be tamed: to first get acquainted, to sit next to each other, not to speak, and then to be unique to each other in the world. Beautiful.
So: Just keep the cress!
You liked the column? Then look forward to the third part of the column, which will be about honestly meant compliments.