Everybody feels well in a certain environment and in certain situations, while other situations do not suit him and cost more or less.
The comfort zone is our personal wellness zone. That's when we get to work and expect the same tasks we always have to do and which are not challenges for us. This is the meeting with friends in their garden and the barbecue.
What's new, on the other hand, always means that we have to leave our comfort zone and thus expand it permanently.
Suddenly, we're invited to a party where we do not know anyone except the hosts. Instead of overcoming us and going, we prefer to say goodbye. Or the lecture that we have to give to our department and where the thought that our knees are shaking is already there. We gladly postpone things that do not suit us.
Why does it feel so uncomfortable to leave the comfort zone?
Why do not we feel up to new situations? Why does fear overwhelm us when we are invited to a party where we only know the host and have never been to his house? Why do we want to register for months in the gym, where we pass every day, but never go in?
This is due to our limbic system in the brain. The limbic system is assigned the task of ensuring our survival. Therefore, it warns us of dangers so that we can flee in time or avoid dangerous situations right from the start.
New things always carry a certain danger for us. For example, at the birthday party, we do not know who the other people are. What if we feel uncomfortable? Worse, if they could be dangerous to us? Similar to the lecture. Suddenly, thirty people focus on us. Seeing every crease in our shirt, wondering about our brighter hairline and enjoying ourselves. And the gym. It is quite possible that we will enter the foreign territory, be suspiciously eyed and rated as an intruder.
Of course, all of this is nonsense. But this shows how our limbic system works and explains why we are upset in certain situations. As soon as we feel excitement, our brains want to warn us of a possible danger and make sure that we avoid this situation and go back to safe territory.
Once we have overcome, our limbic system learns that there are no dangers waiting for us at the birthday party, at the lecture or at the gym. So we are directly much calmer next time.
If you want to extend your comfort zone, you will continue to develop
Anyone who stays in his comfort zone stands in his own way. He hardly meets new people, does not experience much and hardly gathers new experiences. But all these are things that contribute to our character building and strengthening.
Sometimes we have to overcome at the beginning, for example, when we travel for the first time. But the more often we do this, the lower the belly grumbling, until it has become an absolute matter of course for us.
If you want to expand your comfort zone, you have to go into certain situations until he suddenly realizes that he is not excited at all. Because then this situation was also integrated into our feel-good zone.
Those who leave their comfort zone again and again, strengthen their self-confidence
Different situations cost us different degrees of overcoming. During the hiring at the roller coaster we feel quite a stir, but the positive kind. We look forward to the thrill.
Quite different is the conversation with our boss, where we want to talk about our salary.
The reason for this is simply that the conversation for the boss is crucial for our future. Are we fired directly in anger? Or put as punishment in a terrible department?
Similarly, if we want to address a foreign woman, for example. Will she laugh at us? Will the people around us all stare at us and wonder what drug we're on?
These are doubts that subconsciously spread in our heads.
However, we feel all the better when we go into the dreaded situation to find that we have coped with the situation, mastered it successfully and everything went better than we had originally expected.
We subconsciously learn that this situation was not only harmless for us and that we also did it with flying colors. Next time, the next lecture, the next pretty woman or the upcoming visit to the dentist, we are directly much more relaxed and relaxed.
You want to expand your comfort zone? These methods help you:
The first step is known to be the heaviest (thanks to our limbic system).
Therefore, we now want to give you several steps to help you overcome your fears and grow beyond yourself.
1. What could happen to you in the worst case?
No matter what specific situation you're facing. Go inside and wonder what we could possibly do in the worst case. Think of the worst horror scenario imaginable.
And now you wonder how likely it is that this happens? The chance is close to zero!
2. What could happen to you at best?
Now, ask yourself, what would be the best course the conversation could take? Do you see yourself how happy you are?
3. Set a date
Humans are incredibly effective in delaying unpleasant things. Today, this is often referred to as procrastination. A well-known example is an exam for which we have to learn. Although the date is approaching, we have not even opened the workbook. And why? Because then we first realize how little we know and how damn much we still have before us.
Now it's over with procrastination! Set yourself a deadline! You want to address a strange woman? Then do it on your way home today. Afraid of the dentist? Then call directly in the morning before work in the practice to make an appointment.
Set yourself clear deadlines that you absolutely obey. This helps to stop your plans and contributes to the fact that you can expand your comfort zone faster.
4. Allow yourself to pursue your wish
You want to change something for a long time. To register in the gym, address a strange woman, optician and get contact lenses. Although you really want these things, you are constantly finding a thousand other things that somehow always get in your way. No time, too much hustle and bustle, the load has already increased.
However, this also shows that you do not even allow yourself to take your request seriously. Allow yourself to fulfill the dream that you have been harboring for so long. Enable yourself to actively approach strangers, get out of you, and tackle exactly what you wanted done long ago.
5. Reward yourself for it
Why not reward yourself for overcoming us? Finally, we successfully defeated our fears and ended our procrastination. And we have found that there is more in us, that we think.
What should the reward be? Well, you have to decide that for yourself. This can be the movie night with a good friend, the journey you've been dreaming about for a long time or just the new clothes you've been ordering for a long time.
Where there is a will, the comfort zone expands
"Where there is a will there is a way, " is a well-known saying. There may be situations in which the will is no longer enough. Who has stopped in the middle of the highway due to an empty tank, who will not be persuaded by persuading his driving pedestal to make it to the next gas station. If you live more than 300 kilometers away from your long-distance relationship, you will not be able to reconcile work and partnership during the week with a lot of good will.
But in most situations, the saying applies. We expand our comfort zone when we have the will to change. If we really want our life to take a different direction. If we do not want to stop at the point where we are now.
If your problem is to appeal to women and you just can not overcome yourself and break out of that comfort zone, then flirt coaching can be the right kind of help for you. Our flirting professionals will take you by the hand and show you live how you can actively approach and flirt with strange women on the street. So that you too find the right one.