It's the big, shared experiences of a relationship that makes the bond between you stronger and stronger. But it is the many small things that often lead to a separation. You will find out in the following lines what the most frequent reasons for relationship stress are and how they can be avoided.
When it comes to quarrels about trifles, then topics such as the common future and life planning are at the forefront. But also jealousy, financial, the household and of course the love life play here usually a very large role. All these topics offer a lot of potential for conflict.
A big problem with this is that often one conflict results in the next. Above all, men feel extremely annoyed by frequent herumgengelgele the girlfriend, as a result, the man withdraws more and more. The girlfriend in turn feels more and more neglected for this reason. The joint ventures are less and less and so it is slowly but surely that one lives apart.
Relationship Stress - Causes and Solutions
Depending on what age you are at the moment, living together is more or less important for your relationship. Especially when couples are not the same age, it can often come to relationship stress. It does not matter if it's just about contracting, the wedding or the house purchase. Often, men want to take it a little slower than women.
If even the family and child planning is added, the relationship stress is as good as preprogrammed.
If you are at different points in your life, and your life plan is very different, you should sit in the quiet and talk together about what you want and desire in the future.
Are your ideas here far apart or are there still overlaps? Depending on what you find out in this conversation, it may make sense to continue the relationship or rather to end it.
Anyone who has ever had a longer, serious relationship, knows very well that in a common household next to a similar understanding of order and cleanliness should also give a similar understanding of dealing with money.
If one partner keeps throwing his money out the window, while the other one takes care of keeping it all together to be financially secure, it will probably result in a relationship dispute.
At the same time, the stinginess of one partner can also make sure that the other partner feels under pressure to turn over every cent twice and to think carefully about whether the next purchase will be made or not.
As always, even in financial disputes a clarifying conversation can provide a very good remedy. However, to give you an effective tip, I recommend the following.
Especially when couples have already moved in, married and even bought a home together, couples often put their accounts together. Especially then, however, is often the problem that one person spends more than the other and so the dispute is already preprogrammed.
Therefore, it is advisable to only have a common account to be charged over the common costs. So everyone can continue to dispose freely of their income and not plunge the partner into financial expenses.
As long as there is no reason to be jealous, this is probably one of the most unnecessary reasons for relationship stress. But neither men nor women are protected from pathological jealousy. It happens again and again that a partner develops a morbid jealousy in the course of the relationship.
Often, the jealous partner is aggressive and angry, though he would describe his feelings as much more than sad and hurt. In this respect it is also important to talk about jealousy and its triggers. If this is a morbid, unfounded form of jealousy, starting a therapy can be a step in the right direction.
However, if the jealous partner does not get involved with it and, for example, insists on more control, then you should think about whether you really want such a relationship.
As already described above, life and family planning often leads to great stress of relationships. However, if you have taken this hurdle for a long time and now already have children with your partner, the education of the child can lead to further conflicts.
Each of us as a child has different values in our own home with get on the way. We have acquired other values in the course of our lives because we have experienced certain things.
Now we have a steady relationship and believe it just fits. The partner is ticking just like you are, and that's why you move together, maybe get married, and have children together.
But here arises the new conflict potential. Not all the values we have come to light every day. Especially in the education of children, the values and attitudes then sometimes go very far apart.
This becomes especially dangerous if the child is clever enough to play one's parents against each other.
If the relationship has already reached the point where child planning comes to the fore, then it should be talked about from the outset what is personally important. What values you want to convey to the child and what experiences you have made yourself.
If it's already too late and the child is playing off you and your partner, then it's high time to pull yourself together. As a parent you have to stick together in the first place to raise your child properly. Speak and clarify things before letting your child play you.
Solve relationship stress effectively
As you have already read several times, it is always a good solution to search the clarifying conversation. In this conversation, both partners should be able to criticize, without the partner sees this as a personal attack. Accepting instead of taking personally is the guiding principle here.
But another way is to let off steam and argue loudly instead of avoiding any conflict. Sometimes such a real loud quarrel builds a lot of tension and helps the relationship to regain ground.
The exact opposite, however, is less recommended. Anyone who shies away from any conflict will distance themselves more and more from their partner. So, gradually, the feelings disappear more and more and in the end there is freezing cold.
Should you also suffer from relationship stress and would like to change something as soon as possible? Then apply here for one of our popular individual coaching in which we help you to identify and eliminate small and large problem areas.
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