Cheating on Carnival - The Out of Many Relations?

Carnival - for many the opportunity to cheat

The word carnival derives from "carne vale", which means "live well". This is to express the fact that a person (the flesh of a human being) should let off steam again before the 40-day Lent.

In days gone by, the days of fasting that start with Ash Wednesday meant the absolute renunciation of carnal pleasures. This meant not only the renunciation of the consumption of meat but also the renunciation of the lust of the flesh, in plain English: 40 days no sex. The night before fasting was the last opportunity to get active again - in stock, so to speak. In the protection of masks it was already colorful.

Carnival days - a state of emergency

For many, the carnival is an exception, a time to break out, to over-strikes - completely detached from everyday life. Here's a flirtation, there's a kiss - it's quick. That alcohol flows in streams, even more inhibited.

As a single, it's all very easy. But what's in a partnership? When the inhibition threshold of alcohol drops, many seek physical contact, and control is lost very quickly. The costumes and masks do the rest to make you feel like someone else, to play a role.

During this time different rules apply, many think. It's easy for the relationship to be at stake. Often the partner does not experience it at all. According to a poll, many men attend carnival events only because they seek an infidelity.

Sometimes the partner has a suspicion and sends a private investigator to confirm the suspicion. In the bustle of the carnival, with the costumes and masks, a detective can get pretty close to the person to be shadowed, without it immediately noticeable. Of course, they must comply with rules and regulations.

An infidelity in carnival - alcohol blame?

The motto of Carnival is all allowed take many to heart during the great days. The flirtatiousness is high. Nevertheless, couples should beware of seeing the carnival days as a free ticket for an infidelity.

Costumes, alcohol and party mood take the inhibitions, but an infidelity remains a breach of trust. Since the brain can try to explain the heart so insistent that it was the alcohol level. This does not work in most cases. The "slip-up" injures and disappointes the partner, may destroy the relationship.

After the infidelity - should I confess?

If it happened, it can not be changed afterwards. The remorse can be so great. Many then wonder if they should tell their partner about it. This question is not so easy to answer.

If you only want to lighten your conscience, you should think twice about it. He could do more harm to his partner than conscience is worth. If the experience was exclusively sexual-erotic in nature and it is not binding, it is usually better to leave the whole thing to itself. Sometimes it is better for the partnership to identify the remorse on its own. Confession in this case is just begging for absolution from the partner to facilitate his own conscience. The confession imposes on the partner a possibly unbearable burden. That would be a very selfish motive.

Who really wants to confess, should wait for a favorable moment. The search is for a time when both space and time are apt to face all the partner's questions and endure the partner's reactions. In that case, it is very important to answer all questions of the partner openly and honestly and to take responsibility for the behavior.

Blaming on the partner or on the other person with whom the infidelity has taken place are absolutely out of place. Lying constructs are not very helpful, then they would rather not confess. Because lies only worsen the situation even more.

Learn from the infidelity

If the partners talk about the infidelity, it should not be about the other person, nor about the practiced sex or even a comparison. The question what she has, what I do not have leads to nothing. It makes much more sense to use the event as an opportunity to look at how it is with the erotic relationship.

This conversation offers the opportunity to talk about long-standing circumstances that cause a crisis in the partnership. Once the problems are finally on the table, they can also be solved. In the best case, a troubled relationship can even benefit from an infidelity. Normally, the infidelity is a big burden. Whether the partner can really forgive the infidelity, usually shows up only with time. Because sometimes the head says yes, that's not a problem, but the heart and stomach feel so bad.

Tips to celebrate without remorse

In the fifth season should in principle apply the rules that the couple has set otherwise - rules that they otherwise always obey and have proven themselves over time. However, some couples also make special arrangements for the carnival days. The rules that normally apply are then overruled on Carnival days. They allow themselves such a small escape from the everyday life of a long-term relationship. However, that must be alright for both.

If the thought of it causes stomach ache, it should keep your hands off it. It is important in this situation that both partners together define the new rules and that both really accept the new rules.

The limits are very important. A little flirtation, a peck here and there, may still be allowed. It should not be a license for sex with others, but it is not excluded. However, there are so many beautiful things in the carnival time, which can be enjoyed without any regrets when celebrating, that an affair does not have to be the goal.

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