Somehow reminds and everything to the Ex. Be it that someone in the train sits next to us and carries the same perfume, be it the park bench, which reminds us of common hours or the steak with the mother, otherwise he / the Ex fried on Sunday.
No matter where we look, we see phantom figures and think that it is the ex. At work, we are unfocused, we have time to stop crying, even if we suppress the tears.
Our friends try to cheer us up, but getting drunk together in the pub only relieves the pain for the moment, the next day we feel even more miserable.
We know we need to get over the breakup, but right now we have serious doubts that we'll ever get better in life, that maybe one day we might be happy again.
Beyond separation: Let your feelings run free
No matter what you feel, if you think about the separation, let it out: whether it's hate, sadness or anger. Allow yourself to feel all these feelings. Even men are allowed to cry. Because the first step to successfully process a separation is always to allow one's own feelings.
Do not be ashamed! If it helps, talk to friends or relatives about how disappointed and sad you are. Suppressing one's own feelings to be strong to the outside is not only nonsense, but also does not help us get over the feelings.
Beyond separation: Do what you want to do
Many people can not get up right after a break, to leave the house and do a good job. Just getting up in the morning for work costs her tremendous strength.
You know what? You do not have to leave your apartment if you do not feel like it. If you feel like spending the whole weekend alone at home, gambling on your laptop and eating chips next door, then do it! If you fancy a series marathon with ice cream, then do not object!
Almost everyone goes through a period of separation after the separation, in which he sits down and retreats. In this phase, we are usually still shocked, do not realize Realisieren that it is over and just need time for us.
However, one thing is important: not to sag at this stage.
If we have not heard from us for two weeks, none of our relatives or friends has seen us, we have not responded to all contact attempts, then it is time to revive our social life.
Beyond separation: Rise and distract yourself by meeting with friends
Already clear. Statements like "Oh come on, you're over them soon" or "Just do not think about it anymore" from our friends are not helping us any further. In the first place, these statements reflect one thing: That our friends are just as powerless as we are and they feel insecure about how they can help us.
And finally, the fact is too: Our friends can distract us, but overcome the pain, we have to do it alone. Accept the distraction attempts of your friends, even if you feel that this does not help you. It helps you. Alone, that you regularly leave the house in the evening and no longer stare blankly into the TV, is a huge step forward.
Even if you spend a merry evening and hardly feel at home again the well-known pain: Any moment in which you feel no grief, is a good moment!
Clean up your stuff from your field of vision
No matter what is left of the ex with you in the apartment. Put it in a box so you do not have to see it anymore. How you want to hold it with pictures of you two, that's up to you. At least clear them, if you want to throw them away, you have to decide for yourself.
Write a message to your ex that things can be picked up within two weeks. Are you afraid of the first confrontation after the breakup, then store the box with a good friend of yours and write that he / she can pick up his stuff at the friend's.
If there is no answer from your / your ex, you can throw the stuff away with a clear conscience after the deadline.
Beyond separation: Take care of your body and your appearance
Mostly a separation has a negative effect on our health. Suddenly we no longer have an appetite, eat nothing for weeks and then suddenly we are told how pale and thin we look. And indeed, our environment is right, we lost 8 pounds!
Or we try to forget our pain by just treating ourselves to something. Evening after evening. Ice cream, cake, chocolate or pizza. We eat to feel the sadness no longer. Others drown their disappointment in alcohol. Because in the fog we no longer feel the sadness as much as when we are clear in our senses.
Whatever type we meet, it's about time we started paying more attention to ourselves. For a few days or a few weeks, such eating behavior is not harmful, but it should not become a permanent habit.
Go out to the fresh air more often, try to cook healthier again, make sure there is enough exercise. Get ready and put on a proper pair of pants, even if you just want to get to the supermarket quickly.
By the way, if it comes to the moment you run into your / your ex at once, you will truly enjoy the moment when you are in better shape than ever while he or she has let himself go. If the reverse is true, you're in sweatpants and with greasy hair, you just feel worse again.
Beyond separation: Put new goals in life
Until recently, you thought you would marry in a few years, buy your own home, and start a family. But this dream has now burst. No wonder you fell into a hole after parting. How should a person be motivated to perform well if he no longer has any dreams for the future?
Time to develop these again. Now you have a lot more time for you. Try to make good use of this time. What is it that you completely neglected, perhaps even abandoned, during the relationship? Was it your hobby to play the guitar? Was it the sports club that simply took too much time? Has your goal been to start your career?
Take all these things back on! Not only do they help you to distract yourself from your grief, you also expel time with meaningful activities. In addition, new goals in life motivate us to get up and work in the morning.
Beyond separation - flirting with others
You currently have absolutely no interest in men / women. And that's fine. You do not have to force yourself into anything you do not care about. But remember, every flirt you have with the opposite sex can distract you. Every flirtation is a real balm to your self-esteem, as your opponent obviously has an interest in you.
No, you do not have to go from One Night Stand to One Night Stand or smooching with a stranger every night (and there's nothing wrong with that). But you should not persuade yourself that you are through with the opposite sex for the time being. Hey, not everyone is like your / your ex.
You have processed the separation and now wish a new relationship? But you just do not find anyone who suits you? Then you should ask us for a flirt coaching. Our flirting professionals show you how you can approach the opposite sex in your everyday life and flirt easily. So that you finally have luck in love again. We look forward to hearing from you.