We thought she was the love of our lives. When she said she was pregnant, we almost burst with pride. Although the offspring was unplanned, but that did not bother us in the least. We could hardly wait to finally hold our own flesh and blood in our hands and to be a happy family.
This moment is now four years ago. And since 2 years we are a single father. The breakup hurt, but it just did not work anymore. We love our child. Nevertheless, we realize that we now yearn to fall in love again. We do not want to be alone any longer. The problem? Dating with a child is not that easy.
As a single parent we often have little time
As a normal single, we can use every free minute we have to go out and get in touch with other people.
On the other hand, it looks different when we have already restricted our job anyway to take care of our child. After work, we no longer have the opportunity to shop in peace, to bring the apartment up to scratch, to wash the car and to live in the kitchen.
No. The child must be picked up from the kindergarten. Soon we have to think about which elementary school the little one should go to. The pants are again torn while playing, many spare clothes are now too small. Kids shopping is announced.
Once the child is at school, the time spent is not reduced. Now there are homework assignments in the afternoon where we have to help. Parent evenings require our presence. And during school holidays, the child is not cared for at all and we still do not know if we can give it to our grandparents during the day.
No. Being a single parent (man or woman) is always short.
Use the little opportunities of everyday life to get to know women
As a single father, you do not have the time to go on the slopes at the weekends, that's for sure. For you, that means you have to make the most of the little time you have and what is available to you. Try wherever you are and see a pretty woman talk to her.
Weiß knows, maybe you'll soon find out if there are single mothers among the mothers who bring their children to the same kindergarten as you?
Speak to women at your train station, talk to women on the street, at the grocery store, in the train when you're on your way to work, walking with your child. Absolutely seize every opportunity that comes your way.
Here are some additional tips on how to get in touch with women in different places:
- Flirting with women on the train
- Skillfully addressing women on the street
- Flirt easily and easily in the park
- Everything, about the exchange of numbers
Do not put too much pressure on your dating as a single parent
At the beginning of time alone, many single dad have the feeling that they are not up to the challenge alone. They hope to find a new partner as soon as possible to help them with their educational work and to help them.
But with this attitude, it will take a very long time to find the right one.
Please keep one thing in mind above all else: your new partner will not play the "replacement mom". She should not. Neither does that want your child's biological mother, nor your child, nor your new girlfriend. Of course, she can take you smaller tasks, for example, by going shopping, sometimes cooking or picking up the child from kindergarten. But you are the father, but she is not the mother! The main part of the responsibility therefore remains with you! Homework, parenting, kid's recreation ... You still have to take care of these tasks.
Keep in mind that the more desperately you seek, the more needy you look at women. You are thus radiating something that is completely dissuasive.
So what do we advise you? Of course, you want to fall in love again. But if you really want to be happy in this life, you have to succeed without a partner at your side. You alone are responsible for your life and also for the fact, if you are happy! Stop persuading yourself that you need a woman by your side for a good life. Instead, consider the potential partner as the cherry on the icing. It enriches your life in addition, but even without it you are fine.
With this attitude, you are much looser approaching the Dating and you will see that you are also for the women in your environment at once extremely attractive.
Explain to your dating partner right at the beginning that you already have a child
Honesty is the best policy! Please do not make a secret of partner dating, that you are a single father!
Yes, there are women who are deterred by such a fact and tell you that they are looking for a man who does not yet have any children. Yes, such rejection may hurt. But honestly, do you want such a woman by your side? No, you do not want that! So what do you have of it, if you keep this little fact about which your entire life is at present concealed?
The longer you hide the fact that you already have a child, the greater the shock later on your side. In the worst case, you have already built feelings at this point, but your lie has destroyed your trust and it breaks contact.
Explain what relationship you have with the child's mother
There are parents who go apart badly and do not talk after the breakup. The only dates they get to see each other are the dates in court when it comes to the maintenance and visitation rights. Of course, such behavior of the parents is at the children's expense.
But there are also ex partners who can pull themselves together. In such cases, she simply calls, brings the child over and picks it up in the evening. He goes to her for the weekends as a matter of course, so they can pay a visit to the zoo with the child. even if they are no longer lovers
For the child, this is the best solution! But just for the new woman at your side, this situation may be very strange. You are always reminded that there is something that will permanently bind you and your ex. If you trust the mother of your child blindly and you also understand each other quite well, you can quickly develop feelings of jealousy with your new partner. Especially if she herself has no children and can not understand the close bond with the other parent of the child.
To prevent this from the beginning, you should talk about the relationship with your ex after having met several times. Normally, we strongly advise against discussing dating with former partners, but in your case, we encourage you to do so. Explain how often you see your ex because of the child, how you relate to each other, and above all, explain to her that there is no cause for jealousy.
By the way, in many cases it is also advisable that you also tell the mother of your child that you have a new wife by your side. Because imagine she wants to pick up her child on Sunday evening from your apartment and suddenly you do not open the door, but a strange woman.
Many mothers fear at this moment that "the new one" on daddy side now wants to take the mother role and wants to take away the child. Even if your ex can not really care if you're not single anymore: Talk to your ex about finally being happy again, but still want the relationship between you two to remain quite relaxed, alone because of your child.
Think about when you introduce your wife and child to each other
Depending on the age of the child, your son or daughter will soon realize that something has changed. When you want to introduce the two to each other, that's up to you.
But do it depending on how serious you are with the new woman at your side. You may have noticed during the meeting that she is out of the question for you as a steady, new partner, yet it does you good to feel the closeness to a woman at the moment.
New partners should only be presented to the children if we ourselves hope / believe / assume that something solid will develop from them. Of course, it can always happen that it does not work and we go our separate ways again. But we avoid this, that constantly different women in our house and go out and the child does not even know what to think of these women.
If you feel that as a single parent you have no luck finding a partner and you need further help, then ask us for a flirt coaching! Our flier experts will help you find your Dating and show you how to make it possible to address women in everyday life, get to know them, flirt with them and even get their numbers in the end. So that you too find the right one. We look forward to hearing from you!